Teen Guide to Homemaking

A number of years ago I picked up a stack of books at a thrift store for about $.25 a piece. Among them, and much to my amazement, was a textbook which was entitled, Teen Guide to Homemaking, a book originally published in 1961 (more than 52 years ago) and written for home economics classes in schools. Without giving it any further thought, I placed it on the bookshelf along with numerous other titles.

Before long, it began popping up all over the house; I found it under beds, on the coffee table, under the pillows on the couch. Even today, this is one of the most popular books in our home library.

The titles of the chapters and the information covered are simply fascinating to my children; making friends, choosing clothing and hair styles, personal grooming and general health (such as bathing and nutrition), cooking, decorating, sewing, entertaining and family relationships. Basically, it is about growing up, and, just like most children who are not being brain-washed into thinking that life exists in a cubicle, they are engrossed with the subject!

Of course, this book was not written from a Christian perspective, and I am now very conscious of the "social engineering" that was going on between the lines. Still, there was enough Christian influence still in existence so that there was even a photo included of a young lady holding a Bible.

As a homeschooling mother, I have so often felt apologetic about taking as much time to teach our children about practical living as we do about the essential school subjects. Transcripts don't have slots to record all of the best learning that really goes on in a young person's life.

But there is so much more required of us than just gaining a degree or forming a career path. The total of our lives is much richer than what we do; it is who we are and what we offer to others that counts the most. 

Homemaking is the best place to put all that we learn into beneficial practice. By thinking of our homes as a microcosm or miniature community in the scheme of a much larger design, we can use every discipline to create a wholesome atmosphere in which human beings can thrive, and, more importantly, where seeds can be planted and nurtured until there is fruit for God's Kingdom and glory!

That wonderful little book gave me quite a lot to think about indeed.
 

Wasting Our Children

I was at the library with two of my older daughters to other day. We were having a grand time together; the men were at home with the little ones and we were sharing and joking around (quietly--after all it was the library!)

As we were browsing the shelves for treasures to bring home for the family, we noticed that in the empty spots on the shelves someone had purposely chosen only "politically correct" titles to display.

One book title was tragically funny to us. On the cover a sweet young girl was posed with her chin in her hand, and above her a thought balloon read, "I wonder what a green school looks like?"

The book was in brand-new condition, and I'm sure it will stay pristine until it's discarded. What was that publisher thinking? Is there any child in his/her right mind that would purposely check out such a book? Is there any reason that a child would be remotely interested in whether or not his/her school is "green"?

I suppose there is a remote possibility, that is if some poor youngster has been so brainwashed that he/she can forget what it means to be a human being.

Real children, the ones that don't have to worry about living up to the tenets of socialist humanism, have very different interests. They want to know how things are made, or how they work. They enjoy stories of people all around the world and how they have fought battles and lived in different ages. They want to know how to do useful things, such as baking some cookies or making the best kite. Besides all this, an innocent heart yearns to know that God is there, in all that He has created, and that He has been active in the affairs of men since the dawn of history.

Show me a child that is concerned about how green his school is, and I will weep and mourn for the officials and the administrators and the textbook writers, for the future of our society, but mostly for the waste of the priceless young souls which are daily being plundered of all that makes them so very precious.

The Inspiration of Duty

I slept and dreamed that life was Beauty;

I woke and found that life was Duty! 

Author unknown

Our age is the age of SELF. We unflinchingly proclaim it in bold letters on billboards and on magazine covers and declare it vociferously from podiums and pulpits too. It's the same dribble that we find saturating every talk-show on each and every television station.

The word "duty" has been demoted to a chest of relics of times past; one in which sentries died at their posts. These days we always stop and ask, "What will this do for me?" before we proceed with anything. In fact, self-seeking has become so rampant these days that anyone who offers help without expectation of pay or any other benefit is either thought to be mentally ill or mentally challenged. 

Irena Sendler 1943

Irena Sendler clearly was not an opportunistic woman. She continually risked her life during the horrible years of the Nazi occupation of Poland to save 2,500 babies and children, and when found out was tortured, her legs and feet were cruelly broken by her interrogators. Yet, she did not seek recognition. As a matter of fact, this heroine went widely unnoticed until the year 2000. For many years after the War she was persecuted in her own country by the communists for cooperating with the Polish government during its period of exile.

When she was interviewed as an elderly woman, she did not wonder why no one had acknowledged her, honored her, or offered her any material reward for her sacrifices. Her greatest concern was that she could have done more; can you imagine that?

In our home we have never offered monetary reward to our children for doing their chores, no, not even for "special projects." We all pitch in, and we all contribute, because taking care of each other is our duty! 

Duty is so much higher than glory, and so much more inspiring, that victories hang upon it.

William M. Thayer

Story-time!

We train school children to expect to be recognized for the slightest effort. Janet receives a certificate of achievement for saying her "ABC's," for memorizing her multiplication facts, or for cleaning the whiteboard. Does anyone stop long enough to explain to Janet that each task, well-done, contains a joy all its own? Would anyone dare suggest that she clean the class whiteboards simply because it is the right thing to do?

What are we expecting when we appear before God--a standing ovation? When asked about meeting his reward in heaven, an old Jewish rabbi once remarked, "God will say to me, 'Were you good to your wife,' and I will reply, 'yes.' Then He will say, 'Were you a good father,' and I will say, 'Yes.' Next He will ask me, 'Were you good to your fellow-man,' to which I will reply, 'You, Lord God, know everything, and you know that I was!' to which He will reply, 'Good, then you did what you were supposed to do!' and that will be that!"

Sherry Hayes

Raising good daughters today means that we must learn to back away from the "diva" and "prima dona" mentalities. Nothing is owed us, everything is expected. It should never be a matter of what we can get, but what we can give, always keeping in mind that we would never be able to do anything good apart from the grace of our Lord Jesus!

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

(Hebrews 12:2)

Mommy's Toolbox--Things to Consider When Turning the Corner in Your Home-schooling!

A major planning slump!

It's the beginning of a new year--a time when countless home-schooling mothers seem to experience a major planning slump in the months between Christmas and spring-time, especially with those mothers who are home-schooling for the very first time!

We may feel a bit unsure because:

• Our children are not cooperating.

• The curriculum we chose doesn't seem to be working.

• The relatives (and/or friends) are really negative.

• Our life and/or home is in such disarray that we can't get "school" done.

• We aren't sure we can handle 12 years of this!

• Financial circumstances are adding to the difficulty and pressure of the situation.

Here are some ideas that have helped me to get "over the hump" during the past 25 years. 

1. Don't give your children too much too soon. I read recently about a young mother who wanted to begin officially homeschooling her little girl before she had even reached the tender age of two-years-old! In my humble opinion, bright toddlers are like "little learning machines," they rarely lack the energy or enthusiasm necessary for discovering and enjoying new things!

The trick is to tap into their natural inclinations. A good initial step would be to keep a toddler's environment free from empty-brained "time wasters," such as the new gadgets for babies that are supposed to mimic iPhones, iPads, and the like. Small children will learn best in an environment that facilitates and encourages open-ended play, such as with blocks, dolls, a sand-box, Legos, etc. Fortunately, these types of play-areas and toys are easy to come by, and are not too expensive.

Three other important parts of a good preschool curriculum are: 1) responding in a warm and supportive manner to questions, 2) reading books aloud, and 3) including your child in day-to-day life experiences.

To many this is a natural part of the nurturing that is essential to teaching your children at home. 

What is next?

2. Don't be afraid to drop something that is either too advanced or too tedious. If your children don't like the curricula or methods that you are using that's one thing, it's another thing if you dread using them yourself! 

No matter how colorful, glossy or high-tech a program may seem, it could be the very worst thing for you and your family. 

The kind of learning that makes a lasting difference in a person's life is not the canned-type that must be driven by teachers and other authorities. Schools don't understand this, of course, and this is primarily why they are forced to use advertising gimmicks to keep the attention of students. This is the reason why much of the curriculum materials are so colorful and filled with graphics, but even the best window-dressing in the world will not hide the blandness that lurks beneath, and savvy young scholars can sniff out demagoguery a mile away!

The learning that sticks is so interesting on its own merits that your children won't have to be prodded to use it. You will quickly discover that your kids will sneak it into their bedrooms, and hide under their covers to read about it after bedtime. They will be so engaged with it that they will want to spend every waking hour in its pursuit because it is "delight-driven" learning. 

I know it is hard to give up on something that you have spent a lot of money for, and it is a bit hard on one's pride to admit to making a wrong choice, but the alternative is just too detrimental to consider not correcting the mistake! 

Do yourself and your kids a favor and let it go.

(We have chosen to use McGuffey's Readers, Ray's Arithmetics and Spencerian Penmanship, etc. because these cover the basic academic subjects and leave loads of room for other topical subject matter to be learned in more natural ways) 

3. Get some encouragement and moral support from someone who has been where you are now. Keep in mind that home-schooling is still counter-cultural today. When a parent chooses to educate their children at "home," there may be some folks who feel uncomfortable with your decision to do so. The grandparents are worried about how their grandchildren will get along in the world, both friends and some relatives may automatically assume that they are being judged by your unconventional choices, it's simply human nature.  

Be sure that you become grounded in your decision to home-school, so that you will be able to intelligently communicate the why's and wherefore's of what you believe. Have you ever noticed that those who are very confident hardly ever spend time defending themselves, while those who are secretly unsure are the ones who are the most vociferous and adamant? More often than not, they are, in reality, the ones that are filled with unfounded doubts and are easily influenced.

Why are you homeschooling? It is important for you to examine your true motives, because the foundations will determine whether you will be building your home-school with a "house of cards" or on "solid-rock." 

Read some good books, not only about how awful public schooling is, but also about how wonderful true learning can be, and even what true learning is. Take some notes, talk to some people, read some testimonies, make some friends; pray, pray, pray. It is likely that you will come out of such a time of soul-searching stronger than ever before, and you will be able to look past the voices that were once a torment and be able to show unconditional love to those people in spite of themselves! 

4. Get a handle on the small and disorganized things in your life. Are the children unruly?--take some time and energy to get them back into line. Is the current condition of your house in disarray--roll up your shirt-sleeves and get your house in order and then learn how to make it run more smoothly. Get the social media in your home under control, have some sort of routine in place, and become self-disciplined. You know, order adds to our lives, it doesn't detract. Good habits benefit us, but bad habits will enslave us. 

Just imagine how wonderful it would be to not have to waste hours searching for a pair of scissors, a pen, or a hammer when you are hanging a picture. It would be so great to know ahead of schedule what you are having for supper, or that your children will be wearing clean clothes. All of these things take planning and diligence, but having a place for everything and everything in its place will pay you back in dividends! 

5. Learn to take things one-day-at-a-time. In some ways, the choice to public school ones children can give a parent a lot of security; there is an expected course with an expected end, hopefully a college education and as a result a successful life (provided you agree with and are willing to submit your children to their agenda, curriculum, amoral approach and resulting statistical record of failure). 

We are not all the same!

But we human beings have a way of thwarting "the best laid plans." Try as we might, we simply can not squeeze every child into the same mold in the elusive hope that by so doing we will alleviate all of our problems! Students are often unwilling, or even unable, to follow the expected course. They don't always finish the reading assignment on time, or perhaps they can't grasp abstract mathematics, and sometimes may have difficulty concentrating, or get easily bored, and have behavior problems as a result. People are individuals and not machines; they are living and unique spirit-beings, and the God who is there and is in charge is not interested in factory-produced automatons.

Don't live in the future, but allow His plans to unfold before you. If you submit to His perfect will, live to please Him and teach your children to do the same, you will be amazed at how He will be able to work even the worst of things together for your good. (Romans 8:28) 

6. Tighten up, simplify, and learn to live a faithful and thankful, praise-filled life. Learn to make do with little, and God will make you worthy of much, either in this life or in the life which is to come! Money has been tight for us for most of our home-schooling experience. During our 30 years of marriage we have predominately lived from month-to-month, often having to rob Peter to pay Paul. I have had to learn to fix my own hair, give the boys haircuts, sew clothes, alter and repair second-hand clothing, make rice and beans a staple part of our diet, and drastically limit restaurant visits. Nevertheless, with this "deprivation" we have discovered the richness of a life of simplicity and thanksgiving, and the bounty of trusting a loving and merciful God who provides for all of our needs.

Above all, remember, walking in obedience to God is the best way to live a peaceful, and hope-filled life, because He holds our future and we can leave all the consequences up to Him.

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!

While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey. 

Children are special!

Sarah Elizabeth

Here I go again, nag, nag, nag! 

After 29 years of parenting, I honestly believe that I have taped recordings of lectures that are stored in my mind which can go off quite automatically on certain cues. I have precise sayings that immediately dribble out of my mouth without any special forethought whatsoever.

Seriously, raising children takes a lot of repetition, a lot of pestering, and a lot of "constructive criticism." Every day I'm reminding people to brush their teeth, make their beds, be humble, be sweet, be respectful, be diligent, wipe their feet, put their shoes away, take out the trash, clean the counters, finish their schoolwork, write thank-you letters, stand up straight, and on, and on it goes... 

After a while it can grate on one's nerves, all of this energy expended in seeming futility. If a mother is not careful, it can wear her down, steal her joy, and keep her from truly delighting in her children.

Patience being her wonderful self!

Everyone needs a little correction and accountability from time-to-time, but constant "fixing" can tear down a home from the inside-out. If we want to grow a healthy plant, we certainly are not going to prune it down to the root, or drown it with too much water. No, there are times when we must very carefully bind up its tender shoots, and set it on the windowsill so that it can soak up some much needed sun-light, and their are times when we simply sit back to admire it. 

Parents can get so busy, that they allow the circumstances of life to rob them of the emotional energy they need for their children. They might have the best of intentions, but if their little ones rarely hear a positive word, they may never get to benefit from the gift of love and acceptance they need from the most important people in their lives. 

All too soon the youngsters are off and gone, and then the words spoken are often too few, and the relationship is too distant to make any real difference.

Faith, Patience and Lorilee

The proper time to enjoy our children is now--this very instant. It doesn't matter if they are in dirty diapers or have faces covered with acne; they need our affirmation and unconditional love, through the daily expressions of our total delight in them. 

So remember to smile, and flirt, and tickle them. We need to grab them up spontaneously and kiss them behind the ears. We need to learn to play with them, and tell them jokes and funny stories about times when they were little babies, or even when we were babies, share the memories that will make everyone laugh. We must learn to listen to their stories, and laugh at their jokes, and take pleasure in their artwork, even if we can't always tell what it is they were drawing!

And we have a divine opportunity to be their very first and best cheerleaders--their champions in a scary world.

The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

The Perfect Christmas Gift for Him!

Looking for the perfect gift!

It seems that it's so easy to shop for the female gender. Women and girls alike can never seem to have enough "accessories," and every retailer on the planet seems to offer something that ladies just can't live without!

Males, on the other hand, are almost impossible to shop for. We wear out our shoes searching the mall, or spend hours clicking through site after site, desperate in our quest for the "perfect" gifts for the men in our lives.

I believe that men are very basic creatures. Their clothes are simple, their speech is succinct, and even their meal choices can be quite predictable. This is at times puzzling to most women because we just couldn't exist without embellishing almost everything in our lives. A bachelor's apartment might be fitted out with a bed and a blanket, a few utensils, and even some basic food in the cupboards, but as soon as he gets married, suddenly there are flowers on the table, pictures on the walls, and a whole set of dishes, not to mention matching towels in the bathroom!

Hanging out the wash

If a man has some good jeans, a few nice shirts and a pile of T-shirts, his wardrobe (for him) is complete. If he has a comfortable chair to relax in and a hot meal waiting for him at the end of the day, he feels like a king. He doesn't care that much what type of chair he rests his weary bones in, nor does he notice whether or not his dinnerware came from Pottery Barn or IKEA. He usually knows exactly what he likes, and doesn't see any need whatsoever for change.

This is when there is a clash between the s*xes, especially at Christmas time. In a woman's flawed "creativity" can be found a misguided need to "change things up" through the act of gift-giving.

His favorite shirts

For the husband who refuses to wear anything but T-shirts (even to church), we offer a new suit with matching tie. And for the man who is a sports-enthusiast, we offer season tickets to the theater or opera instead of to the football game. We can always justify purchasing a work-out membership for a couch-potato, or a set of Bible CD's to a man who shows little or no interest in spiritual things.

But I'm proposing a different sort of attitude altogether. How about giving a man what he craves; unconditional love and acceptance. 

For the casual dresser, a stack of his favorite T's. For the man who enjoys watching sports, how about a pair of tickets to watch a local team (with the promise of watching and enjoying the game with him). What about a set of DVD's from an old western series and some popcorn, now that would be a great blessing for the man who just wants to sit down and watch John Wayne get the bad-guy (back when life seemed to make more sense), especially if you are willing to sit down with him and watch them, too. As for the man that seems to be averse to spiritual matters, how about putting on a quiet heart that prays and lives so that the Bible can be read in his wife's daily demeanor and actions--now that just might be the best gift for a man like that! 

A long day at the office

It all boils down to loving, accepting, and, yes, enjoying our men for exactly who they are; no posturing or pressuring. 

After all isn't this precisely what we hope they will do for us?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)